When Strong Men Fall, Who Catches Them?
Some trees stand tall and unshaken, their roots deep and strong, just like the kind of strength we admire and hope to embody. But when disease creeps in, silent and unseen, the tree weakens. By the time its branches tremble, it is often too late. So too, are the strong men we admire, silent sufferers of invisible battles, only noticed when they are at the brink of collapse.
Isindu, once a respected figure in Kenya’s entertainment industry and the former logistics manager of Eric Omondi from 2011 to 2017, is now facing a difficult battle with his mental health. He stood behind the scenes, ensuring the comedian’s success. But years later, he re-emerged not as the strong, composed man he once was, but as someone struggling with severe mental health challenges. His fall from grace went unnoticed, until Omondi stepped in. But his story is not unique. It is a mirror reflecting the silent crisis of men’s mental health.
The Crisis of Silent Suffering
Often, we hear whispers of someone’s struggle, or we notice signs of their suffering, yet we hesitate to intervene. Reaching out doesn’t come naturally to many; sometimes, it’s up to us, the potential helpers, to step in. Yet, we hesitate. We assume they’ll ask for help if they need it. But the truth is, reaching out isn’t easy for everyone, especially men. More often than not, it’s up to those around them to step in, to check in, to offer a lifeline before it’s too late. The stigma around men’s vulnerability is so deeply ingrained that many suffer in silence, believing that admitting pain is a weakness rather than a call for support.
― Carson Anekeya
From childhood, boys are conditioned to believe that emotions are a burden they must carry alone. “Be a man.” “Don’t cry.” “Toughen up.” These phrases shape how men cope up with their struggles, teaching them to suppress pain rather than express it. This expectation extends into adulthood, where societal norms dictate that a man’s worth is tied to his ability to provide and protect. Seeking help is often seen as a failure, leading many to internalize their suffering. The consequences are devastating, depression, substance abuse, self-isolation, and, in extreme cases, suicide. The Kenya National Bureau of Statistics (KNBS) has reported that suicide rates among men are significantly higher than among women, with recent data showing that men account for over 75% of reported suicide cases.
This silence is costing lives. These stigmas are real and deeply affect men as nearly 1 in 10 men experience depression or anxiety but less than half will receive treatment and more than 4 times as many men as women die by suicide every year. Without intervention, untreated mental health conditions spiral, affecting not only individuals but also families and communities. Experts emphasize the need for proactive engagement, creating spaces where men feel safe to talk, dismantling harmful gender norms, and normalizing seeking help. The challenge is not just in telling men that it’s okay to open up, but in ensuring that when they do, there is support waiting for them. The burden of breaking this cycle doesn’t rest on men alone; it is a collective responsibility to build a culture where strength is redefined.
A Lesson in Brotherhood and Responsibility
What Eric Omondi did for Isindu is very powerful and deeply motivational. Not everyone extends a helping hand to those they once worked with after they fall from grace. In many industries, entertainment, business, even film, we’ve seen people rise while their former colleagues fade into struggle, left to fight their battles alone. But true brotherhood isn’t measured by how we celebrate success together; it’s defined by whether we stand by each other when times get tough. Sometimes, all it takes is a simple check-in, a moment of support, to make a real difference in someone’s life.
Omondi’s decision to step in when the world had seemingly moved on from Isindu is a reminder that men, too, need help. His public response acknowledges that men struggle, that mental health is real, and that no one should have to suffer in silence. Yet, as we’ve seen, reaching out to men in crisis isn’t always easy. Isindu himself has not fully accepted the support offered to him, highlighting a common challenge: many men, conditioned to endure silently, resist help even when it’s available. This reluctance only reinforces the importance of persistence in offering support.
We need to follow Omondi’s example, because mental health support isn’t just the work of professionals, it starts within friendships, families, and communities. Being there for someone doesn’t always mean having all the answers; sometimes, it simply means showing up, reminding them they’re not alone.
The Real Problem
The real issue isn’t just that men are suffering, it’s that society has failed to create a system where they feel safe to seek help. In Kenya, where mental healthcare is already underfunded, the situation is even worse for men who are conditioned to “tough it out” rather than seek professional support. Many lack the financial means or even the knowledge of where to turn when they do recognize they need help. Without the help they urgently need, countless men are left to battle their demons alone, often turning to self-destructive coping mechanisms like alcohol, drugs, or isolation, which doesn’t make it any better.
Societal judgment. Men are raised to believe that vulnerability is a weakness, that admitting to struggles makes them “less of a man.” This fear of being labeled weak keeps many from opening up, even to their closest friends and family. Unlike physical illnesses, which are met with concern and support, mental health struggles are often dismissed or ridiculed. A man dealing with depression may hear, “Just snap out of it,” or “Be strong for your family,” reinforcing the toxic notion that real men don’t struggle. This isolation only deepens their suffering, pushing many to a breaking point.
So, the next time you think telling someone, “Be strong for your family,” will help, remember this, they might be in a dark hole, barely strong enough for themselves. Some are not just struggling; contemplating how to remove themselves from the equation entirely.
It’s time for real change. We need better policies that integrate mental health into public healthcare, workplaces that actively promote well-being, and communities that foster open conversations without shame. Support systems must be proactive, not reactive. Men shouldn’t have to wait until they’re on the verge of collapse before help becomes available. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness, it is wisdom, it is strength, and it is survival. The question is: will society finally step up, or will we continue losing men to silence?
Let’s Create a Culture of Support
For men, it’s time to unlearn the lie that emotions make you weak. Real strength isn’t found in silent suffering, it’s in seeking help when you need it. You don’t have to carry everything alone. Opening up doesn’t make you any less of a man; it makes you human. Talk to someone, reach out, and remind yourself that asking for help is not a failure, it’s survival.
For friends and families, don’t wait until the men in your life hit rock bottom to check in. Be intentional. Look beyond the usual “I’m fine” and really ask how they’re doing. Pay attention to the quiet struggles, the withdrawn behaviors, even the jokes they make. Some of those memes they post aren’t just for laughs, they’re cries for help hidden in humor. Be keen, interpret, and step in before it’s too late. Sometimes, a simple “I see you, and I’m here for you” can mean the difference between someone holding on or letting go.
For society, we must stop treating mental health as an afterthought. Advocate for policies that make mental health services accessible and affordable. Workplaces must do better in supporting emotional well-being. Leaders and influencers, take a page from Eric Omondi, use your voice, your platform, your influence to normalize conversations around mental health. Change begins with action, and the time to act is now. No one should have to suffer in silence when a culture of support could save their life.
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